Eating, drinking and

riding trains.

Y and I got back 2 days ago and we really had a good time! Friday we arrived in Brussels with a 2 hr delay. It was pouring and I was afraid that if it would continue to rain our trip would be ruined.  Y’s friend picked us up from the station and took us to a great bar for some lovely and very special beers followed by dinner and more beers in a different pub. The next day we spent a few hours in Brussels and then took the train to Holland to my mum and dad. I must admit I was a little nervous, but despite me leaving Y alone with my dad while I gave my mum a hand it all went well.

Sunday morning we went to visit Judith and Marcel and then  left for Amsterdam. Our planning was a bit messed up so we arrived later than originally planned.  The weather was beautiful, so after checking in the hotel and dumping our bags we left for a little brewery where we had beers. After our drinks we had dinner with some of Y’s friends and got back to the hotel around 1 AM.  Monday morning was spent in Vondelpark followed by a visit to the AMC, the academic hospital in Amsterdam. I was having lunch with a friend who works there and Y was meeting up with the people he worked for. Our initial plan was to go to C and D after, but they had a fight so we decided to stay an extra night in Amsterdam ( more food and beers again). Tuesday we left for Maastricht and arrived at 13.00.  Our room in the very awesome TOWNHOUSE hotel was not yet ready, so we went to “het onze lieve vrouwen plein” for lunch and drinks and walked around the city. Unfortunately for us we had to leave the next morning and all the eating, drinking and not sleeping very much had definitely taken its toll on me, but it was totally worth it! Oh and during the hours spend on the train we watched the Misfits (I had already seen it, but it is such an awesome show that watching it again was still a great pleasure)

And now I am back in the lab not doing much. my new computer arrived yesterday and it is AWESOME!!!


I spend a lot of

time browsing the Interweb,  I mean a ridiculous amount of time.  And besides reading my favourite blogs such as and girlsgonechild I also have to check text from last night, passive aggressive notes and damn you autocorrect and about a million more that I find absolutely hilarious.  Recently though I have stumbled onto Tumbler and while I am not quite sure how it works there are some really  beautiful things to be found. Or maybe I just think they are beautiful because of my loved up state of mind.  One of the ones that I really enjoy is the Diarists, but also bluquote and I can read. BEWARE though, they might be a bit sappy.

Letters To My Love #21.

Things here are still great, I did get the email from Aus asking me to apply for my visa, so was a little grumpy for a few days but am OK now.  I have yet to finish my application, because they are asking me for info that was on my old computer and unfortunately for me it is UNREPAIRABLE.  Well they could repair it, but it would cost as much as buying a new one!!  So I decided to buy a new one.  The old one is still at the shop and I am hoping to pick it up today so  I can try and find my old emails.

In 2 days Y and I are going for a visit to Holland, it is a bit hectic with all we want to do in the 5 days that we are there but I am sure that we will manage; We can sleep when we get back!


Herr Professor Doktor

That is how the PI’s in Munich are addressed AND do not dare to call them by their first name or forget a title..

While it was AWESOME to be in a very stimulating scientific environment, with lots of international students and post-docs, the whole formal thing kinda threw me off.  I really do not need nor necessarily want to be friends with my bosses, but to create such a massive distance between a PI and student/ co-workers, in my opinion does not really encourage a creative environment.

I did enjoy seeing Munich and despite me being put to work immediately when I arrived I managed to get some time off to explore.  The weather was freezing but mostly sunny so walking around the city visiting little churches and having a beer was actually quite enjoyable.  I walked around the English Gardens, which were just stunning and visited some Galleries and Modern and Contemporary art Museums (on sunday the entry fee is just 1 euro). I also spent an afternoon at Dachau, a former concentration camp approx 30 minutes north of Munich and that was really interesting and very sobering.

The work in the lab was pretty boring besides for the few new things that I learned.  I stayed in a little student room, where I had to share a bathroom and kitchen with other people on the same floor. Luckily for me, there were only a few girls there and everyone was  absolutely great!! Since there was no Interweb in the room, the girl next door let me use her wifi.  I would have died without it, seeing as the interweb was my only entertainment (until my computer died/ I killed it) and then all I had was my phone.

I am now back in France and it is really nice! I was not sure how long I would stay after returning from Germany but I have decided to stay until we go back to Holland and then come back until I leave for Sydney. Especially since I now have some closet space and am no longer living out of a suitcase!!




Worried for

nothing of course!
Spoke to Y yesterday and told him exactly how I was feeling and why. And as it turned out it was all in my head and he is totally ready to make it work!
Today + tomorrow are lab days and then finally back home!
I am hoping to either have my computer fixed or a new one next week.

Giving this typing by

phone a try…

I was planning on writing about my stay in Munich and the weird Germans, but something else has come up and it has been keeping me awake and making me sick to my stomach.
Hoping that venting to the interweb will help ease my anxiousness.

On Monday morning I received news from Sydney, finally the HR had approved my appointment. This should have been awesome news, instead I just felt sick to my stomach. I mean I am no idiot, well most of the time, and I obviously knew this was coming I just did not expect or want it this week or month or even in the next 6 months.
So here I am slowly freaking out!
I spoke to my future boss the next day and told her about my situation (how I had met someone) and she was so lovely, thinking of ways how he could join me and I told her about my French course (oh yes, now that I am leaving I enrolled in French course, the things you do for Love) which means that I wont be able to come until May even if I get a visa sooner. This too was also fine. And that morning/day I felt good again.
And then it just came crashing down… I felt very insecure, where initially I knew that we could do it. Not that it was going to be easy, but seeing that it would not be for forever, I just knew we could make it work. And now, because of something Y said (a few days before, but of course it stuck in my head) I am not so sure anymore. So this morning I was in tears while talking to him (he might as well see ugly crying face sooner rather than later). But at that time all I could say was that I felt like SHIT. I spent the day outside in the freezing cold and by the time I got home I was feeling better, that lasted for about 30 min when once again I started freaking out. I have knots in my stomach and just feel super anxious! But it just hit me (obviously it had been in my head for a while) I feel as if we were breaking up because I am leaving…

At least I know why I feel like shit and I obviously need to talk to him and tell him why I am acting a little crazy. Hopefully after our talk tonight all will be well!

Phone typing, not so bad actually