And I am back

So this writing a monthly letter to my kids has failed miserably.. but now that I am back at work and thus procrastinating it might just pick up again!

It has been a year full of changes, the major ones being the addition of Kheo, our whiter than white, I am really a Dutchie, son and we moved house.

Lani is almost three as she will tell everyone that she meets, she also wants a dinosaur that closes his eyes when he sleeps and opens them when awake and Roars. Kheo is almost 8 months and besides sleeping a very easy, laid back, smiles for everyone bubba.

Together they rock my world  While those first few weeks were harder than anything I have ever done and made feel so guilty after 3-4 months things changed and now seeing them together, playing and laughing it is amazing and I am so so glad that they have each other.  Lani always wants Kheo there and Kheo is one grumpy little man when Lani is having her nap.

Yann and I are doing really well, I was so nervous returning back to work, not sure how we would cope with the house and picking up kids and getting them fed… We manage to leave the house on time and have dinner ready on time too without the house being a total pig sty and even the laundry gets done.   It helps that January is very quiet, plus I am apparently job sharing (this is whole other story) and bosses are away so leaving early or getting in late is not a huge deal.

Looking forward to more sleep, some night out (we have a babysitter!!) and lots and lots of time as a family of four.

16 and 17 Months

Dear Lani,

Only a few days late this time.   This month has been great, well except for the 4 AM wake-ups.. really what the hell is that about.

We went on our first family holiday, Hamilton Island and it was absolutely fantastic. We left on a Tuesday morning and took a little plane. You were tired after running around the airport like a crazy person in your new ladybug flip flops and fell a sleep almost immediately. The flight was only about 2 hrs so when you woke you were pretty easily entertained for the duration of the flight.  We stayed in an apartment, twice the size of our house and had a golf-buggy to ride around in, which you loved!  We spent the entire time at the beach or at the pool and after your initial fear of getting into the water you loved it.  Playing in the sand was another favourite, as was looking at the cockatoos (tootoos as you called them), spotting the kangaroos with dad and drawing on the furniture.

Your vocabulary grows day by day although we still sometimes have trouble figuring out exactly what you say!  You have trouble with the K sound at the start of words, so come becomes mum or thom. You have learned to say maman, finally!!. You love to see daddy and constantly want to know where he is but get angry when he tries to give you a kiss. You love to wash your hands and make bubbles when using soap. Brushing your teeth is another favourite, although there is not much brushing, but more lots of toothpaste eating.

Oma came to visit for a few days  She cooked you food and took you to the park. And we went into the city to see her on her last day.   It was a short visit, but we all enjoyed having here over.

You are extremely bossy and get very angry when things dont go your way, it is both cute and frustrating at the same time.   Bath time has been interesting, you have gone from hating it to loving it and back to hating it again. I personally love the time when I am drying you. You give me the biggest hug and bury your head in my neck and ask me  to sing Rock- a -bye- baby by saying  baby in my ear.  We often spend 10 minutes just cuddling and singing and it is one of my most favourite moments of the day.

We stopped breastfeeding!!! A major milestone and 0ne you were quite happy with.. this means that now you go to bed with a book and a song and wake up around 6.30 And if you do wake up in the night all you want is a litttle cuddle that I am more than happy to give you!   To me these past months have been the most amazing (I know I keep saying that).    I can not get over how cool it is that you can express what you want, make jokes and act a little crazy to get us to laugh!

Your dad and I are so amazed by you Lani.  We are excited to see what surprises are around the corner.

All my love always,





14 and 15 Months

Yep once again I missed a monthversary, even worse, the last time your dad or I took a picture of you is ages ago.. Who would a thought the novelty of having a child would wear off so quickly.. Grand parents are not happy since they love seeing pictures of you.  The thing is Lani, you are so much fun to hang out with that I’d rather spend the time interacting with you than taking pictures.

Miss Lani, you have grown up so much over the past weeks!! You  understand heaps, when we ask you to do stuff you just do it.  And to top it all off, you are sleeping till 6.30 AM!!!! There are words: Bubbles, Bye bye, truck, daddy, duck and dog and maybe some more but your pronunciation is not always very clear.  It is just lovely to hear you chat away.  You like taking my hand and showing me things. You will grab a book and crawl into my lap so we can read it together.  You like to go on walks in the morning to look at the trains and the diggers outside of our house.

You have discovered the joys of the ipad and some silly app we downloaded called Talking Tom and his girlfriend Angela. We are trying to limit your access but sometimes it is easier to just give in, plus it is amazing to see how quickly you figured out how to unlock the ipad and find the app you want. You ask for a song by sticking your hands in the air, like twinkle twinkle little star. You do yoga poses and clap your hands when you finish.  We found you a little truck that you can sit on and push and you love it.

I am amazed at your ability to communicate by using signs and pointing at things.  You are extremely stubborn and strong willed, which is both admirable and frustrating at the same time.  You know exactly what you want and have already started to cry when we dont give in (see ipad story above).

I dropped you off to school for the first time in months, something your dad normally does. And it was so great to see you so excited. As  soon as the front door opened you ran inside to your room and to the back to play with toys. It is nice to know that you fit right in and are happy to be there.

You have become friends with our neighbour Angus, and you and he actually get along pretty well. There is still some pushing and sharing can be a problem, but in general you are very happy to see him.

As for milestones, your walk has turned into a run and I am hoping that pretty soon there will be an explosion of words, MUM being the next!

All my love always,


11 almost 12 months

Hi Ms Lani,

Yep about a month late.. oops but we were overseas for most of your 11 month.. Our very first overseas adventure and not one I would like to repeat. It was not bad but also not so good.

You were great on the plane, you made new friends, barely cried and managed to sleep not in the bassinet, it was to small but on my lap.

We spent our first week in Joue le Tours with your French Grandparents and it was pretty tough. You were clearly jet-lagged, even resulting in a few big vomits.  And sleeping at night was even harder.  You did become best friends with your auntie’s cat Inca.   The whole family spoilt you like crazy with toys and clothes.  You finally saw your first Wallaby, in the botanical gardens in Tours, crazy huh??

We left to see your Oma en Opa in Holland on Boxing Day, by then you were pretty much recovered from your jet lag but you still ended up spending every night in our bed.  Oma had organised a little party so people could meet you.  While you were not too happy with all the people trying to touch you. You really loved seeing all the other kids and playing with them.  We took you to Amsterdam and to the delta works and to the zoo.  Most days though were spent on the farm, which because of the shitty weather was pretty boring, but you did enjoy looking at the Fish and the cats and the chickens.

Our last week we were back in Tours, you were much better. Although still never really yourself.  I was dying to come back home and so so tired. Mainly because you still did not sleep through the night and were spending most nights attached to me.  Dad was having a good time which which was lovely to see.   We went to the lab where you got to meet lots of people and got to spend time with Salaar a very entertaining and funny 3 yr old! And then it was time to go, just before the snow arrived.

The trip home was very tiring, mainly because we had a very long stop-over in Singapore and we went from flying business class to having to go back to cattle class. Again  though you were very well behaved although on the second leg there was a bit of screaming.

Once home, we quickly managed to settle into our usual routine. You sleep in your own bed and we have stopped all the night feeds!

You have 5 teeth, are still not walking but are very good cruising and walking while holding our hands. You have an extreme interest in animals whether they are real or in books.  You point to the things that you want, and make it very clear when you are not happy.  And last weekend we saw your love for rain since despite the torrential rain all you wanted was to be outside and dive into the massive puddles, and so we did!

My darling in these past 2 months you have changed from being a baby into a little girl and it is the most wonderful transformation.  I can not express how much I enjoy seeing you develop into your own (very bossy) person.

All my love always,



8 months

Dear Lani,

8 Months already!!   Pretty proud of your dad and myself for making it this far without doing too much damage.  Just a few days before your 8th month you decided to crawl, not very far and your technique is interesting to say the least, but you are crawling. And on the same day you also showed me that you can walk.  You held on to the bed and did two steps to get to Hippolite (I have probably misspelt this) but it is your toy horse.  Your dad comes up with the most of the names of all your toys.

Still waiting on your teeth but it definitely does not stop you from biting and eating everything. Flavour of the month is seeds that you find in the garden, they are too hard to chew so you just stuff them in your cheek for your dad and I to pull out when we realise what you are eating.

And we finally have a decision from your dad, he has decided to stay which has made me happy beyond belief. I know that you have no idea what is/was happening but in the past 1.5 yr things have been pretty unstable in our lives. Once we found out we were having you we had to decide where we were going to live and then after you were born the question still always was.. what now. You will find that your dad and I are both pretty good at putting our heads in the sand and that your dad really takes his time in making decisions, considering that these are pretty massive decisions to make it is totally understandable.  Anyway while you have been pretty oblivious to what was going on I do think that us being together as a family is the best thing for you!  For now I am still at home for 2 days and dad for 1, but by the end of this year we hope that you can go to day care 3 days a week and your dad and I will both be home for 1 day each.   But that is still a while a way.  For now I am so excited that you are becoming mobile since there is whole new world ready for you to explore!

All my love always,



5 months

Dear Lani,

5 months and a few days today!

Lots of things have happened. You can sit by yourself, well according to your dad it does not count since we put you in a sitting position but you can stay there without any support!
And you have managed to roll from your belly to your back a few times! Of course we have yet to see that action. When we put you on your tummy you refuse to do it while we are staring at you, as soon as we look away you roll.

Even more impressive is that you have started daycare. And you seem to be loving it. Lots of other children and awesome carers. The only slight problem is that you do not take the bottle, but hopefully that will change soon. I must admit that not having you around makes me a little sad. I am excited though that you are so social and fearless when it comes to seeing new people.

My favourite thing at the moment is seeing you and your dad together, you make the happiest sounds when you see him. I know that the two of you are going to have an awesome time together when I go back to work.

And you have started eating solids! So far we have given you almost everything except meat and fish. Not much ends up in your mouth unless we spoon feed you, but it is much more fun to see you feed yourself. You seem to like everything which is great! Now all we need is a high chair, since the sofa is getting pretty messy.

You also spent your first night away from home. The three of us were invited to spend one night in St Albans to chill out in the country side. It was really lovely, naps were a bit of an issue, but nighttime was fine! and even driving for 2,5 hrs was not a problem

To me the changes in this past month have been massive and I am looking forward to seeing your next major developments, maybe some more talking? Or more rolling? It does not really matter, in my eyes everything you do is amazing (yes I am that kind of parent)

All my love,


4 months

Dear Lani,

I do sometimes get it right! 4 months today, you are really becoming a big girl! Last weekend your dad took away the bassinet so I would finally put you in your own room for the night. And boy did that go well. You slept from 6 till 3 and then till 8. I on the other hand was up from 1.30 AM.. missing having you near me. I am getting used to it now though and must admit that it is nice having the bedroom back.

We went for another swim, this time I know you enjoyed it, you were full of smiles and you actually “swam”. We went with 3 of our mother’s group friends, you of course showed the others how it had to be done.
We had our first pub lunch with your friend N and her parents. I say friend, but you were a little bit scared, since N makes a lot of noises to show how much she is enjoying things (or unhappy). You are still rather quiet, although every now then you will talk. Crying really only happens when you are tired.

You also had your immunizations and you were such a trooper! Not a tear, obviously your big thighs helped! The next day you spent sleeping and that was basically it.
We are working really hard on getting you to did it twice from your tummy to your back, without nappy on. But the other times you just pee and that is it. Sure it will happen at some point!

In other news, we got offered a spot at daycare. We still have to check it out, but it seems pretty good. It means that come August, dad will be home for 2 days to look after you and I will be going back to work! Big changes, but I am sure it will all be fine after some adjustment time! And again, it is probably more me than you!

Love mum

6 Weeks

Today is the magic 6 week mark…. This is what we all have been counting down to. Once the baby is 6 weeks it all becomes easier, except that now everyone tells me that it is 12 weeks when it really becomes easier and I am pretty sure that when we are nearing the 12 week mark it will be 6 months and so fort until it is: don’t worry once she turns 36 it will all be fine.”

Things are good we really are blessed with a wonderful happy baby.  And I really can not complain! She is sleeping, eating and smiling like a trooper.. And of course she cries but these cries are really limited to when she is pooping in her sleep (don’t ask) and when she is over tired in the evening.

I am enjoying my new life more and more, although I still miss work and the lab and the people and the social life that goes with it. I have found a new social life which consists of coffee’s and lunches in the park and hanging out with other mums and talking about boobs and milk and poos and sleeps.

Really though, the mother’s group, is a great thing and hearing the horror stories of child birth/ not sleeping/ not gaining weight/  puts everything in perspective.  Little L is the fattest in her age group.. with all the other 5-6 weeks old weighing around 3.6 kg and she is about 4.4!!! I sometimes feel a bit guilty about having an easy baby, no problems with breastfeeding and a very supportive husband.  Maybe we will have our real problems when L becomes a teenager..



1 Month

Dear L,

You are now 1 Month old although it feels more like 1 year.. probably because of the very short nights and extremely long days..

You have become a lot more alert and I am pretty sure that you have consciously smiled a few times now. Pooping is still a massive effort for you and you will literally scream as you are pushing. Dad was the one who pointed that out, I would immediately pick you up. I am getting better at it, although I hate to hear you cry.

You love to be held and sleep on someone’s chest (you are not very picky at the moment)  and you spent a few lovely hours sleeping on Dave on the weekend. Luckily he enjoyed as much as you did.

I am starting to get to you know a bit better, the first 2 weeks you were a complete stranger to me and I would often wonder who you were.  As it turns out you are the spitting image of your dad and not only the way you look.  I am waiting to see what characteristics you got from me, it might be your appetite and the aimless chatter.. Another thing that you have started doing, making random sounds when you are awake. You appreciate some alone time too and are quite happy to lie in your bed staring at your hands.

One of your favourite toys is a musical mushroom that I put on your change table.  As soon as we turn on the music you stop crying.. it only works on the change table though!

You love to be on your tummy and are an expert at lifting your head up and looking from side to side.   Hopefully it will prevent you from getting a flat head.

We attended our first mother’s group and met some lovely people. I am pretty sure we will make some new friends.  You were by far the cutest baby there, while not the tallest, definitely the chubbiest and that is a much better look than the scrawny babies we saw.

Despite the fact that most of the time you are sleeping or eating, you are definitely keeping your dad and I entertained and on our toes.

Looking forward to getting to know you even better!

Love Always,



Fresh, regurgitated, digested.. it is everywhere.. and I constantly smell like it. I can not wear a top longer than ooh 30 min.. when I either spring a leak or I get a little spew on it.  The leaky boobs thing is a little funny but mostly annoying. I am not very good at wearing the breast pads, but even when I do there still is milk every where.  Little L gets it on her face/arms/body when she unexpectedly pulls of the boob, this is the funny part.. since it really sprays from the boob.. I always thought it would drop.. but yeah after seeing that 2312 times it is not as funny anymore.  I think that it does get better, the leakyness and I will prob find a bra that is actually comfy to wear which means that the breast pads will get better use too. Plus once we get more mobile I will be forced to wear clothes.. these days I roam around topless most of the time.. or at least with one boob hanging out of a top. Not the most charming look but it is good for the nipples.

Things are getting better around here, although everyone keeps saying that at the 3 week mark (TODAY!!) babies change from quiet and sleepy and reasonable predictable to screaming and unpredictable.  This is called the “witching hour” and can last way longer than 1 hour.. we had some screaming today but we have had some before so am not too sure what it is.  Sleep is there, some nights are ace some nights suck but we manage to get at least 2 blocks of 3 hours.. if we are lucky (so far no luck) they would start at midnight  and end at 7 AM ish but mostly there is a 2 hr wakey time  in between or after the 3 AM feed..  Because Y keeps little L with him from 9 PM I get at least 2-3 hours then too! (ETA:  last night was horrible, no nap in the arvo and no sleep until midnight)..  I am trying to give up on the whole schedule thing but since my life has basically always been pretty much scheduled it is hard to let go, will see how this week pans out but am hoping the crying screaming will not continue and I will be able to nap in the afternoon.

Time to change to put my boobs back into my top and pray that they wont spring a leak in the next hour or so.