Month 7

Dear Lani,

You turned 7 months, a little more than a week ago.  Things have been relatively quiet on the developmental front.  The main thing is that you have HAIR, not as much as your friend Luke but definitely getting more and more.

We are still waiting for you to crawl, but I have a feeling you might just skip that step completely and start walking since your new favourite thing to do is STANDING.  You now pull yourself up in the bed and stand at the side. This morning you pulled yourself up on the pram and managed to stay there by your self for quite some time.

Sleeping is amazing, there are of course still days that are a bit all over the place, but most of the time you are rocking it! And we have managed to drop night time feeds to zero. Every now and then you do want/need one but in general you dont wake up, unless you are upside down in the bed!

You and your dad have lots of fun together and everything seems to go so naturally with you two that I always get a bit freaked out when it is just you and I. Yep you have one crazy mumma.. but you have made life pretty easy for me too!

Your favourite thing to do is to play peek-a-boo it really cracks you up.  Banging things on the floor/table or against each other is another favourite.  You still love day care and will be going for two days a week very soon!

There is some more talking going on, you have been saying mummmma but it just means you are unhappy and it has no relation to me at all.

All my love always,



6 Months

Dear Lani,

Happy belated half Birthday!!   

In the past month lots of things have happened:

You had your first cold.  This of course freaked me out more than it really affected you.  

We took our first airplane together and flew from Sydney to Wagga Wagga (a very short, 45 min flight). You were very well behaved despite not feeling well. Unfortunately because of not feeling well you refused to sleep in the port-a-cot so your dad and I had two rough nights taking turns holding you. 

And I have started work, 3 days a week which means that you now get to hang out with Dad for 2 of those. It has only been a week, but you and him totally have it under control. You even sleep in the bed when he is looking after you.   I am hoping that one day I will be that lucky!  

You love love love daycare, I go to feed you in the afternoon and you can not wait to be with the other children and carers.  It is amazing how much you enjoy other people and especially children!  And the carers all think that you are a wonderful child interested in everyone and everything (and yes they will tell every parent that) it still makes me proud. 

You are trying extremely hard to crawl, but so far not much luck. You do move around quite a bit and I have already learned not to leave you alone for one second especially if you are on the couch.  In the last week, you seem a new person. Very aware, very active and very vocal.  You make the funniest sounds and your giggle is very infectious. 

And then there is your appetite, oh boy… you eat everything and in large quantities and it makes me so happy!  I did go a little crazy and have learned to tone it down just a little.. But you really are a joy to watch when you eat.  We have tried the usual baby food (potato, pumpkin etc) but there was also Dumplings, Beef Casserole, Gherkin and Tofu. Food is your thing and like me, other people’s food is especially appealing!   And water, you enjoy drinking from sippy cup and glass, but have recently discovered that you can suck water out of the facewasher when you are in the bath. Because of your dry skin we do not use soap so if I left you to it, you would probably drink half the bath.  


It is the most amazing thing, being able to watch you learn new skills and grow up and become your own little person and I realise every day how lucky I am that I get to enjoy you!  And now you also get to share all these wonderful things with your dad! 

All my love always,







3 months

My darling L,

I suck, this was supposed to be a monthly thing and now it is nearly 3 months. Please excuse me and see this as your 3 month update.

As everyone said, things have really gotten easier! But we did have some hurdles along the way. The biggest one was your napping. At around 9/10 weeks I realized that you only slept in your pram or on my boob. Trying to get you to nap in your bed resulted in tears from both of us.
I did feel that we needed to break the boob sleeping during the day and so used the pram. It all sounds great but to get you to go to sleep the pram had to be moving and thus I spent my days pushing the pram, either in the house or I would go for long walks! And that was my day.. Luckily the weather was nice.

I then decided to call in an expert.. A very expensive expert, your dad was not really to keen on it but I insisted. She was lovely and showed me how to Rock you to sleep and put you in your crib, she also explained that the screaming was because you were extremely tired and did not know how to fall a sleep. When she left I felt a bit cheated, she basically charged $500 to tell me what everyone had told me.. But hey at least you were in your crib!

It was great for a few days and then you figured out that if you kept on screaming when your butt hit the mattress I would keep on holding you 😉 To be honest I don’t think you were doing it on purpose. It did mean that I was holding you to get you to sleep. And it meant once again I was unable to do anything else. And while I love spending time with you, I prefer to do it when you are awake.
After a major breakdown from me, my dear friend L came to the rescue! She showed me how you are able to settle in the cot and now my lovely you go off to sleep with little or no fuss!! You sometimes suck your fingers or thumb which to your dad and I is the cutest thing ever.
Night time is great as always!

We also went to Gymbaroo, which is a lot of singing and exercises, a bit cheesy for me, but you love it. I took you swimming too..not quite sure how you felt about that one though. Will definitely try it again!

And you my dear, you are quite the love tummy time! You giggle which is very funny and you are very observant. You love looking at trees and I am convinced you will become a botanist when you grow up. You are grasping things with great accuracy and try to put everything in your mouth. You have become very interested in the world around you.

You have changed me in so many ways and all for the better. All I want is to spend time with you and see how you are mastering all these new skills and becoming your very own person. I feel sad thinking of the things I will miss once I go back to work, but I do realize that we are very blessed to even have all this time together.

All my Love Always


It has been a while

Bubbles is still in Utero.. but she is getting mighty big! I am now nearly 35 weeks and look as if I have swallowed 2 watermelons!  And my belly button is now definitely an outie.

Can hardly believe that another year has passed and it has been one crazy ride.. falling in love, finding out we were having a baby and now to top it all off: Y decided that it was time to make an honest woman out of me so we are also getting MARRIED!!!  For now we are just doing the el cheapo super tacky registry wedding and once Bubbles is out and I can drink we will organise a proper party.

Work has kinda finished, I am still mounting brains at home and will need to go in one or two days in the new year but then it will all be done!  And I can focus on relaxing and doing my breathing exercises.  We went on a “hospital tour” and I hated it.  The rooms are disgusting and it just feels so wrong to have to be in a hospital to give birth.. I am pretty sure that I will need all calmbirth tools to stay sane. The hospital does offer a quick discharge programme and I am really tempted to take it. The only thing is that you then only get a midwife come for 1 hr (if that) a day  instead of being able to constantly press the buzzer and get someone to help. Will see in what kind of room I end up after giving birth, if we are lucky we might get a single room, although the chances are small since I am in the public system.  And who knows maybe the whole process of having a baby makes you kinda forget that you are in shitty environment.

Xmas will be a quiet one although we have enough food to feed an army. It will just be Y, a friend from the lab and I..  I am going to try and make a cake today… will let you know how that disaster turns out or may turn into  a more positive surprise, in which case I will definitely start a bakery.



30 weeks

and counting… Had a week from hell with the move and the SHOPPING. Y and I both hate shopping with a passion so having to spend about 4 days in malls and even a trip to IKEA nearly killed us.. In the end it all worked out cause we are mostly done. We just need a few more baby things..  I have had about 40 break downs where I start crying for no real reason at all (AWESOME)  I feel like I am the size of the house and that is only going to get worse but the most important thing is that Bubbles is doing AWESOME. She is growing, has decided that head down is her preferred position and is punching and kicking away.. I have no diabetes and no anaemia (YAY!!)

Am back at work for the next 4 weeks and then it is XMAS break and I start my maternity leave, although I have still not heard from HR… Have one more experiment to do which will start next week.  I have help from a really lovely Danish PhD student who is also really competent so am not too worried. Plus while it does require some hard work, I can do most of it sitting down!!

Sleep is getting harder harder.. so is walking by the way, but bike riding (because my weight is supported) is fine and swimming (although I have not been for ages) should be OK too.

I think I am mainly concerned about Y and how it will go… I want him to be happy here and be able to enjoy the things that I love about Sydney but at the moment I really suck at being able to do stuff besides being tired..

Hopefully this weekend he will be able to hang out with some non-pregnant people and have a few beers!



The best birthday

present ever???  Had my scan yesterday and this is what we saw:

This is not mine BTW, but it is more clear than my images.. a BLACK DOT.. also known as the gestational sac.. and it is exactly 5 weeks and 1 day old today.  And that means that this thing was conceived on my Birthday!!!  Original definitely.

It is a little scary that I am only 5 weeks along, but am less stressed than I was yesterday about miscarriage.  My dear friend Judith sent me an awesome email and talking to mum also calmed me down.  I am really trying to just take it one day at a time!  At the moment I am extremely tired and tend to go to bed at 8.30 PM (which is only one hour earlier than normal) but when I wake up I am still tired. During the day, especially after 1 PM I can barely keep my eyes open..

I told my boss yesterday too, after the initial shock she was pretty awesome and was more than willing to accommodate me by planning experiments in a way that I will be able to have some data by the time the baby is due.

For now just keeping fingers crossed that all will go well!




Am at Singapore airport waiting for my connecting flight to Sydney.  I am extremely tired (Please forgive any speling errors) and it has only just hit me that I wont be seeing Y for 5 months (which is more than one month longer than we know each other). Our goodbye was very rushed and not at all how either of us had wanted it to be, but in the end I think it was better since no one cried..

We decided to stay in Paris on the Monday night since we decided it would be easier than having to leave early on Tuesday.. Well not really the case:  Initially I did suggest staying at the airport, but somehow we ended up staying in Paris, which meant we had to take the RER to get to the airport at the same time that the whole of Paris is going to school/work!

My bag weighed ,I thought at least 45 kg but when I checked in, it was 20kg, so to say it was a struggle to carry it down all the steps to get to the subway is definitely an understatement.  Y was catching the train back to Tours and had to be at Terminal 2 by 10 while my flight was leaving from terminal 1.. If you have ever been to CDG airport, you will know how freaking big  and stupid it is.  It is such a hassle to get from one terminal to the next…  Anyway we finally manage to get to the check in counter and dump the bag and then have a quick coffee and then Y had to leave for the other terminal.  So no tears, I have been pretty upset for the past few weeks but my last weekend with Y, I seemed to have found some peace with the whole awkward situation.   I cried on the plane though.

Am of course excited to see everyone and move into my new place but I wish that Y was here and we were doing this together!

OK going to pee for the 456th time in 1 hr!